How to Not Be a Bridezilla
So, okay, we all know that wedding planning is a stressful situation. Even before you were planning your own wedding, you’d already seen your share of crazy and control freak brides in your own circle of friends and family (though, of course, you’d never tell them to their face). So you told yourself that when your day came, you’d be calm, and sweet, and understanding, no matter what stress. The problem? Only now do you understand the real meaning of having to plan such an overwhelming amount, from seating arrangements to finding a perfect custom bridal gown that won’t send you straight into credit card debt.
Suddenly, you’re quite sure that you’re on the brink of Bridezilla-ville – which is the last thing you’ve ever wanted. So how do you get out of this situation, but still get the wedding of your dreams? Here’s how:
1. Invest in a wedding planner
It’s very possible that your need to control and micromanage everything has to do with the fact that you’re literally overwhelmed by the planning of your wedding itself. From choosing the plates and cutlery to the entertainment, to even tiny things like whether or not the candles on the tables match the rest of the color scheme – it’s gotten to be too much.
Most couples getting married around going to spend around 10 percent on their wedding planner, so when it comes to setting up your budget, this is around how much you’ll want to spend. If that’s not affordable, consider going to an ordinary events planner, and see if you can get a special deal.
2. Love yourself
Sometimes, we get very stressed we because put far too much pressure on ourselves. Considering that your wedding is an event where you’ll be the center of attention, showing yourself off to the most important people in your life, you might be putting extra pressure on yourself and not allowing yourself to be imperfect. For example, if you’re constantly worried about gaining a pound one day, or you wish you were just better at acting like a fun bride in front of the salespeople who are helping you, you’re probably lashing out not only at other people but also at yourself.
What you’ll want to do is take a step back, anytime you find yourself saying, I could be better at this, and ask yourself instead: What would I say to a friend going through the same thing? Consider taking a day off once a week from planning, and remember the importance of exercise: exercising for only 20 minutes benefits your mood for the next 12 hours.
3. Don’t sweat the small stuff
One of the most overwhelming things about planning a wedding is that there are so many choices to make. Honestly, it’s almost paralyzing, having to choose whether you’re going to go with the teacups that have roses on them or lilies – after all, which one are the guests going to prefer? Is this the kind of thing where you’re expected to send out an email survey?
Please, before emailing each and every one of your guests about this, take a step back and remember that choices as small as this one don’t even matter. When it comes to something this minimal, it’s usually better to settle on the cheaper option–or toss a coin. It isn’t worth the stress, not as such high a cost that you might snap at your hubby-to-be. The average cost of a wedding in the US is $35,329, which means that there are bigger things for you to be worrying about than that.
4. Talk to someone you trust about it
Finally, the fact is that you could be more of a Bridezilla because you’re keeping all of these negative emotions in. Whether it’s the stress of the planning, or something bigger, like the stress of changing your identity from a girl to a married woman, you may just need someone to talk to. According to psychotherapist Allison Moir-Smith, who works with brides, “You have to go through a psychological transition to make this enormous identity change from single to married, daughter to wife – and it’s a trauma.” So it’s completely normal to be feeling a little bit unmoored.
This is where maids of honor come hugely at hand–after all, talking to the hubby could make it seem like you have cold feet when it isn’t that at all (though if you think he’s the right person to talk to, of course, go for it). A therapist is an option too, because you’ll be able to delve into where these feelings are coming from. Anger is a secondary emotion–and considering that 77 percent of people regularly experience physical symptoms caused by stress, that’s probably at least part of what’s going on.
Being a bridezilla is something that luckily can be avoided – as long as you’re taking the right steps to prevent it, you’ll be able to have the perfect wedding without losing your mind!
Do you think you’re a bridezilla? If so, how do you plan on dealing with it?